The wowyn's circle that I hold every month was last night. We haven't met in a few months because of life and my just not having the energy to plan and make it happen. Funny how when I probably most need it, I'm unable to get it together.
Last night's "theme" was "Release & Welcome." It ended up being very good for me (and I hope for the other participants. I only released one thing (actually a person) out into the universe (on a little paper boat in the meditation) and it felt like an ending of sorts. Not that I won't feel any emotions about it anymore, now, but it felt like kind of a final release. That's good.
The flip side of the theme was the "Welcome," meaning inviting something into our experience, something we want, need, hope for, etc. I invited "independence." I'm excited to see how that manifests.
I feel like I'm growing and changing. I feel like I'm freed kind of. I feel terribly sad and heartbroken, but I'm getting to the other side of that slowly. Nurturing my spiritual self has given me back my TRUST that I'm right where I should be and that things will be ok. I don't know what is in my future, but I've let go of control of that and am choosing to just TRUST.
When I put the person I was releasing on the little paper boat in the visualization, I did so gently and lovingly. I wish her safety, love, and happiness. I wish her health and hope for nothing less then the best for her. I watched her float away in my mind and along with my sadness I felt like this was a gift for both of us. I'm not quite sure what that means, but it was how I felt. I trust that God/Goddess/Universe has us both in the light and whatever is to happen will happen and it will be good and right. Maybe our souls will find each other again....maybe not.