Friday, December 17, 2010

I have been releasing my will and life to the Universe on a daily basis and the transformation that comes along with that is pretty profound (and painful). Why does spiritual connection and the search for true humility render me so vulnerable and like a ball of exposed nerve endings? I'm finding that when I am in ego and self-centered mode, when I am protecting myself and putting up barriers, I am much more physically and emotionally comfortable. But, when I want real connection and I open myself up to what the Spirit wants for me (and wants from me), along with that comes pain and some sadness. I think living intentionally and with eyes open, I am more vulnerable to the energy of the world around me. The pain comes from KNOWING and SEEING. When I offer myself to my God/dess I have a trust and a KNOWING that I will be protected and that I won't be given more then I can handle. So, when I feel sadness and pain, I KNOW that it is because it is real and because in order to feel the deep joy and love that is on the other side of it I must feel both. I'm right where I should be. The phrase "be careful what you pray for" comes to mind.