Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Lugnasadh

I'm thinking about the upcoming turn of the wheel at the holiday, Lughnasadh. Here is an excerpt from a Witchvox article:

"Lughnasadh is a time of personal reflection and harvest, of our actions and deeds, events and experiences, our gains and losses. A time when we begin the cycle of reflection of that which is our life. A period for personal fertility magic to ensure the bountiful harvest of life's gifts and experiences, that which we have reaped though trial, tribulation, enjoyment, joy, love and loss. As my Elder once said to me, "We can not know what we have not experienced." Such is the truth of life รถ we become not by chance but by experience. Each experience opens a window into ourselves, into who we were, who we are, and whom we are choosing to become."

This past weekend my women's circle held its monthly Full Moon circle. It was perfect that the women who led this time innocently (I think) chose the topic of "Transition." At this time of the year, in regards to the Wheel, we are transitioning from a time of growth to a time of harvest. Personally, I feel that I am totally in sync with this cycle.

I was just sitting here this morning, and actually blogged about it in my unschooling blog, realizing what a strong feeling I have of change. I FEEL like I'm cycling, moving with the universe, into at time of harvest. When I look back at my blog posts here, over the past several months, I can see the acquisition of "seeds," the "planting," the "tending," the growth. Slowly, slowly (and painfully, much like giving birth) my soul has been transitioning and evolving to bring me to this point of harvest.

In the harvest I feel the benefits of the labor, the pain, the tending, the nurturing, the growth. I see the product of my labor and can now use that harvest and continue to prune and tend as these fruits continue to mature and ripen.

How I love the synchronicity that happens when you allow it. How I love this connection and the absolute knowing that all is well. My practice of being grateful in the midst of pain and perceived turmoil, in anticipation of goodness and harvest, serves me well. Sometimes we just need to grow in the darkness of the soil, in solitude, so that we can burst forth and discover who we are.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Remembering

We had a lovely week away at the lake. The lake is always such a place of introspection and rejuvination for me. I started reading the "Conversations with God" books again. I so love those books. It's the perfect time for me to revisit the ideas within those books.

I'm entering a new phase of self-evolution and it is hard. Exciting. But hard.

Hard to believe that I'm almost 40 and I'm still (just?) answering the questions Who Am I? What do I Want? What Do I Need?

Therapy always seems to make me feel like I'm so much worse off then I thought. Funny how before therapy I might feel like I have some issues to work on, etc., but that I'm pretty ok. After starting therapy I feel like a crazy mess! lol

It's all good. It's all my creating of my self. I'm remembering Who I Am and am remembering that it is me who creates my experience. It's all in how I choose to create it. It's pretty damn exciting, really, if you think about it. If I don't like what I've created thus far, I can just change it. I can just create anew! What a wonderful thing that is.

Today I am grateful for my experience and for being exactly where I am. It is no accident that I have arrived in the space I'm living in today (body, mind, and spirit). It's all good. All IS well.