Womyn of Spirit was great this past Sunday. I created a ritual for Imbolc...the altar was beautiful, lots of candles, red, white, and other typical altar items.

We did an elemental cleanse, which was very cool, and made Brigit's Crosses. There were several other elements to the ritual that were great, as well. I really love creating these rituals and making them special and beautiful. Not only do I love to do that for God/dess, but I love creating this space for a group of wonderful women who are really busy and don't always get time to connect and be in a space like that. I like to make it something special, so that it feels like we're stepping into another different world, kind of. :)

Pathmaking

At my coven meeting last night, we traveled to a pathmaking read by Lady A. It was great! We went to a past life, future, present lifetime past, and the astral plane. I've gotten pretty good at getting to that state where I can travel and visualize. I love it. Last nights' visualization was very cool. The only issue I have is that the room we meet in is rather cold and that makes me aware of my present physical body a little more then I'd like. But, I've been able to go above that pretty successfully as well. I love traveling, though. It was interesting last night because one of the other participants (a young man named Wayne to whose energy I feel really pulled) was flying with me on the Astral plane. He's a young guy, probably early 20s. I don't know, yet, why I feel so pulled to his energy. I'm really enjoying this class. Although I've already learned most of the stuff we're doing, it's really good to start here again and kind of revisit the more basic ideas and practices in Wicca. I am really excited, though, to move on to the next classes in my training.

I really love receiving messages from the Universe and then spending the following days listening, observing, and finding connections to those messages. It always thrills and excites me. Receiving the message is always cool, but I have to remember that just the reception of the message isn't the WHOLE message and that more is surely to follow (if I am open and paying attention).

The past few days following my last coven meeting have been full of insights, connections, and "Cool!" moments. This is part of why I wanted to join the class. As a solitary, I can't tap into the same things that I can with a group. I need other energies, other magical humans and teachers to introduce perspectives, ideas, and inspiration.

I love when my spiritual self is awake and active and open. I feel like my eyes are open again and that I am in a totally receptive and learning state. My sensitivities are more acute and my abilities more atuned. Although I feel that as a solitary I was always connected and doing good work, this is a different feeling and an enriching way to learn and practice.

I have begun study with the training coven, Grove of Gaia. I'm SO EXCITED about this. After years of being solitary, with some circles, informal groups, and even an attempt at forming a coven thrown in, I've really had a longing to really learn and study the craft and be part of a coven that is active and enriching. I think I've found that in the Grove of Gaia. The teacher is Lady Anabelle who I actually know from years and years ago when I attended one of my first public rituals at a local UU church. She's wonderful, has fantastic energy, and is someone I would love to work closely with. There have been two classes so far and I'm enjoying it. I like the other participants and feel especially drawn to a young man (probably in his early 20s) who has sat next to me both classes. He has a wonderful, sincere, sweet energy but i also sense a real power and integrity in him. He's really the only person, other then Lady Anabelle, that I get any real and strong feeling for.

So, beginning another journey, exploring a little more deeply, and nurturing a little more.

My messages from last class:
"Go, Learn"
"Heal"
"It's In the Trees"

BB!

I have been releasing my will and life to the Universe on a daily basis and the transformation that comes along with that is pretty profound (and painful). Why does spiritual connection and the search for true humility render me so vulnerable and like a ball of exposed nerve endings? I'm finding that when I am in ego and self-centered mode, when I am protecting myself and putting up barriers, I am much more physically and emotionally comfortable. But, when I want real connection and I open myself up to what the Spirit wants for me (and wants from me), along with that comes pain and some sadness. I think living intentionally and with eyes open, I am more vulnerable to the energy of the world around me. The pain comes from KNOWING and SEEING. When I offer myself to my God/dess I have a trust and a KNOWING that I will be protected and that I won't be given more then I can handle. So, when I feel sadness and pain, I KNOW that it is because it is real and because in order to feel the deep joy and love that is on the other side of it I must feel both. I'm right where I should be. The phrase "be careful what you pray for" comes to mind.

Retreating into the woods

I attended a Women's Recovery Retreat last weekend. It was the first time I'd been away from my family for 4 years. It was a much needed retreat and I spent the time refeuling and just being. I spent time in the acres of woods there, which was beautiful. The woods are really all I need. Well, the woods and food and water. lol I connected with my god and the women there, remembering where I came from, where I had been, and how blessed I am today. I feel like Autumn is a great time for that, before the solitude and introspection of Winter. Now I feel ready to pull myself in and "hibernate" for some months, having spiritually recharged and centered. Life is good.

How do we forget so quickly? It never fails that when I am doing well, feeling peaceful, connecting, etc., I eventually stop doing those things that make me feel that way because I feel that way! When I am in pain or going through something difficult, I run back to my books, my meditation, my God/dess, etc., and I dive into those things that I know will give me peace and comfort. And, then, when I feel better, I slowly get away from those things again. Why? Why don't I maintain some balance in that area? I suppose when life is good and things are going smoothly, we just kind of go along and forget...but then when life is hard, I remember all of those things.

I wonder what would happen if I never forgot? If I continued doing all of those things even in good times? Jeez, it might be astoundingly awesome!! I'm gonna try it.